im pretty sure im a professional flyer by now.
ive got the whole airport process on lock.
i think its kind of funny that when they call for people to board the plane first class gets to get on first. they get to walk on a special little red carpet right next to all the ordinary people.
does anyone else find this kind of laughable? like really a RED carpet?

got back to sd today. it was 80 degrees with no clouds. major change id say.
it always takes me a little while to feel back at home when ive been in wa for a long time. like i feel really strange. and it hasnt been a good day, so that just adds to the weird-ness of it all.

i got a thing in the mail while i was gone to renew the registration for my car and its 342 effing dollars. normal registration is only 55. but apparently i have 2 parking tickets (one of which i did NOT know about) that never got paid and you have to pay them before you can renew your registration and since it expired while i was gone they charge an extra 62.
then on top of that you have to get a smog check on your car so i went to go do that today, and after i paid 40 dollars to get that done they said my car failed because my cadillac something or other converter is broken. which costs atleast a couple hundred to fix. so i paid 40 bucks to have someone tell me my car was broken. great. its like jeez man. im so sick of putting money into that stupid fucking car. i guess its really my own fault, i should have taken care of all this before it expired and i would have saved myself a ton of money but im having troubles being adult enough to take responsibility.
atleast i always pay my other bills on time.

anyways. enough of that negativity.
i had a really good, low key stay in the tri.
i didnt really do much but i saw my family, a few of my closest friends and hung out with jake a lot.
leaving was kind of bittersweet.
im excited to be back in the warmth. to get back to yoga and ready for spring semester. to just press play on my every day life again after being on pause for about a month. but as everyone who actually reads this probably already knows, jake and i have had this thing going on since summer, and while being there with him was pretty much perfect i almost wish it wouldnt have been. that we would have found some deep down clash in our personalities, or some other flaw that would have snapped us out of it and returned us back to just the good friends we were before.
because really.
i dont know WHAT the hell we are doing.
but nope. we got along fabulously.
and leaving was that much harder.
and now what? just one day at a time?
usually i go with the flow. i really think things just happen for a reason and take it as it comes. but right now i want answers, and there are no answers. atleast not for a few multiple years. and im being a big baby about it.
should have never...but of course i did.


BAH.

ok what else?
hmmmm.............

driving around town today i almost peed my pants. i dont know if i just got used to the tri city traffic or if all the crazies and their drunk mothers were out today but i almost probably got in like 4 crashes.
and i got my favorite so-cal restaurant staple ive been missing...chipotle. but i had no appetite so eating it was pretty much impossible. dammit.
i put it in the fridge but we dont have a microwave so i dont know how im going to eat it later when im just oh so ravishingly hungry.
think i could throw it on a pan on the stove?

being such a lazy butt the past month ive pretty much gained like 5 pounds i can just feel it all sitting on my stomach. i want to maybe do a cleanse starting tomorrow while i still have time before school starts, but organic lemons are like a dollar each and in a few weeks the lemons on my tree in the front yard will be ripe and there are like 6 million so it seems a little unreasonable to buy them now when i can get them for free soon. but im impatient and want my stomach to sit inside of my pants instead of out of them lol.
maybe ill just work out till then and eat healthy like a normal person and save the lemon money and shove it down my cars throat engine.
hopefully it gags.


kiss my butt. lick the undacheese from under my nuts.
eminem came out with a new song. finally.
and i dedicate it to the dmv.

bye.