ouch

i just got home and decided to make myself a drunk munchie snack.

and i just sliced my finger open cutting a tomato.

im bleeding everywhereeeeeeeeee.


i just realized i have a first aid kit. but im going ghetto style and just wrapping it in tp.


wooooosahhhh.


tiff this is for you.

oh my gosh time is passing so fast! im going to be in the tri in 9 days! im actually really excited. i cant wait to see my family and i cant wait to see my LDL.
ahh. i keep loving him despite the odds and despite the wtf are you doing thoughts in the back of my brain. it just comes so easy and intensifies every time it gets close to that time.
alsdfoghoweuaeofuaweohgeurhg.

i actually think i will miss sd this time tho. ive been having a lot more luck in the friend department lately lol. but these european girls i met and have been hanging out with might just be a little too crazy. even for me. but SO much fun.


derrick is a freaking bastard. i want to punch him sometimes.
ugh.
its a messy story and i dont want to get into the dirty deets online but basically he kinda still owes me money and ive been very nicely asking him if he could give it to me in time for christmas.
a month ago it was yah of course. and now. he wont answer my texts and has played a disappearing game.
i wish i could just delete him from my life forever but theres some shit that needs to be taken care of still.
its gonna be number one on my priority list when i get back.

i cant believe i even dated him. every time i think about it now it makes my stomach kind of cringe. and i just say ew. sometimes out loud without even realizing it.
ew.

today i walked into the boys bathroom at school.
totally by accident. but it was funny.

ahhh. so much school work to do but im not that stressed. i am. but not so much i feel sick. so its nice.

thas all.

its officially cold out

this morning when i went out to my car my windows were fogged over.
and tonight at my house.
for the first time this year.
the heater was turned on.
dun dun dunnnn.

i really. really despise the cold. i honestly think i could live my whole life in summer.
throw in a week or 2 of every other season once a year, and id be just peachy.


its upsetting right now that both my little sister and good good friend are having the same exact boy troubles.
the boy drama is inescapable. and heartbreak hurts at every age. are we going to be plagued with the same problems our whole lives?
i feel so bad because i feel for these girls. ive been there. and i know that nothing i say will really help because the only thing that helps heal is time. its true. and they know it. but that doesnt help their hurting RIGHT now.
im not much of an advice giver. but i guess im a good shoulder.
i want to fix them.

i on the other hand am having absolutely no boy problems. everything is smooth and my heart feels good. i guess i could do without the freight train of desirous feelings ive been having lately, lol. but soon enough those will pass too. =)

hey wheres tasha?

ill be in the tri. 13 more sleeps.

well

its official. everyone i ever become close to in san diego.
moves the fuck away.
marianna.
john.
steve.
chris.
vanessa.
and now.

erica is leaving me. and soon. as soon as the semesters over.
shell be dropping me off at the airport at 5 am and then driving her and her little dogs all the way across the country back to chicago.
she says its only gonna be for one semester. but i donno.

i dont get why this just seems to happen to me. shes the closest to a best friend ive had in a long long while. and im just so....ugh. i dont know.

im sick of trying to build this life. it shouldn't be this hard you know. ive been here for 2.5 years and i havent got a single long term friendship to show for it.
lol im just a big fat loser.

AGH.
=(

i have to go do work. i have homework ADD.
BYE.